Dear all

We would like to reassure you all, that UNISON will be here for you during these difficult times ahead. The office will still be open but at reduced times and days, if you do need us the best option is to call or email first to save you a wasted trip, but your first point of contact should always be your local steward. Their contact details can be found at www.oxfordcityunison.com if for some reason they are not available then please contact one of us listed below.

There are going to be many challenges ahead of us all and you may be asked to do things differently from your normal daily tasks. We know that you all will rise to the challenge’s that will come. If you are asked to support another roll or support another area and are or unhappy or concerned about it then please talk to your manager in the first instance, if you still have concerns please contact us and we will do our best to help.

Oxford City Council staff are well known for great public service in times of need never has there been a time when  we all need to pull together and support each other.

Lastly, We just want to say stay safe all of you.

Caroline

office@oxfordcityunison.com

David

chair@oxfordcityunison.com

UNISON Direct

0800 0 857 857

In Solidarity

On Behalf of Oxford City Branch of UNISON

11 Warning Signs of Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic used to gain power. 

And it works too well.

Gaslighting is a tactic in which a person or entity, in order to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality. It works much better than you may think. Anyone is susceptible to gaslighting, and it is a common technique of abusers, dictators, narcissists, and cult leaders. It is done slowly, so the victim doesn't realize how much they've been brainwashed. For example, in the movie Gaslight (1944), a man manipulates his wife to the point where she thinks she is losing her mind. 

1. They tell blatant lies.

You know it's an outright lie. Yet they are telling you this lie with a straight face. Why are they so blatant? Because they're setting up a precedent. Once they tell you a huge lie, you're not sure if anything they say is true. Keeping you unsteady and off-kilter is the goal. 

2. They deny they ever said something, even though you have proof. 

You know they said they would do something; you know you heard it. But they out and out deny it. It makes you start questioning your reality—maybe they never said that thing. And the more they do this, the more you question your reality and start accepting theirs. 

3. They use what is near and dear to you as ammunition. 

They know how important your kids are to you, and they know how important your identity is to you. So those may be one of the first things they attack. If you have kids, they tell you that you should not have had those children. They will tell you'd be a worthy person if only you didn't have a long list of negative traits. They attack the foundation of your being. 

4. They wear you down over time.

This is one of the insidious things about gaslighting—it is done gradually, over time. A lie here, a lie there, a snide comment every so often...and then it starts ramping up. Even the brightest, most self-aware people can be sucked into gaslighting—it is that effective. It's the "frog in the frying pan" analogy: The heat is turned up slowly, so the frog never realizes what's happening to it. 

5. Their actions do not match their words.

When dealing with a person or entity that gaslights, look at what they are doing rather than what they are saying. What they are saying means nothing; it is just talk. What they are doing is the issue. 

6. They throw in positive reinforcement to confuse you. 

This person or entity that is cutting you down, telling you that you don't have value, is now praising you for something you did. This adds an additional sense of uneasiness. You think, "Well maybe they aren't so bad." Yes, they are. This is a calculated attempt to keep you off-kilter—and again, to question your reality. Also, look at what you were praised for; it is probably something that served the gaslighter. 

7. They know confusion weakens people. 

Gaslighters know that people like having a sense of stability and normalcy. Their goal is to uproot this and make you constantly question everything. And humans' natural tendency is to look to the person or entity that will help you feel more stable—and that happens to be the gaslighter.  

8. They project.

They are a drug user or a cheater, yet they are constantly accusing you of that. This is done so often that you start trying to defend yourself, and are distracted from the gaslighter's own behaviour. 

9. They try to align people against you.

Gaslighters are masters at manipulating and finding the people they know will stand by them no matter what—and they use these people against you. They will make comments such as, "This person knows that you're not right," or "This person knows you're useless too." Keep in mind it does not mean that these people actually said these things. A gaslighter is a constant liar. When the gaslighter uses this tactic it makes you feel like you don't know who to trust or turn to—and that leads you right back to the gaslighter. And that's exactly what they want: Isolation gives them more control.

10. They tell you or others that you are crazy.

This is one of the most effective tools of the gaslighter because it's dismissive. The gaslighter knows if they question your sanity, people will not believe you when you tell them the gaslighter is abusive or out-of-control. It's a master technique.  

11. They tell you everyone else is a liar.

By telling you that everyone else (your family, the media) is a liar, it again makes you question your reality. You've never known someone with the audacity to do this, so they must be telling the truth, right? No. It's a manipulation technique. It makes people turn to the gaslighter for the "correct" information—which isn't correct information at all.

article is taken from https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201701/11-warning-signs-gaslighting

If you need support UNISON are here 24/7 to help.

What are mental health problems?

In many ways, mental health is just like physical health: everybody has it and we need to take care of it.

Good mental health means being generally able to think, feel and react in the ways that you need and want to live your life. But if you go through a period of poor mental health you might find the ways you're frequently thinking, feeling or reacting become difficult, or even impossible, to cope with. This can feel just as bad as a physical illness, or even worse.

Mental health problems affect around one in four people in any given year. They range from common problems, such as depression and anxiety, to rarer problems such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

I now know that if I felt there was something wrong, it's because there was, but I didn't understand mental health fully... it's a spectrum and you should feel able to decide where and when you [are] on that spectrum.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

Experiencing a mental health problem is often upsetting, confusing and frightening – particularly at first. If you become unwell, you may feel that it's a sign of weakness, or that you are 'losing your mind'.

These fears are often reinforced by the negative (and often unrealistic) way that people experiencing mental health problems are shown on TV, in films and by the media. This may stop you from talking about your problems, or seeking help. This, in turn, is likely to increase your distress and sense of isolation.

However, in reality, mental health problems are a common human experience.

Most people know someone who has experienced a mental health problem. They can happen to all kinds of people from all walks of life. And it's likely that, when you find a combination of self-care, treatment and support that works for you, you will get better.

It wasn't until I had a breakdown that I felt my condition was 'serious enough' to qualify as an issue. I could have got help much earlier but I didn't because of this – it's never too early to seek advice.

More info and help can be found at https://www.mind.org.uk/

UNISON PREPAID PLUS CASHBACK CARD

Introducing the UNISON Prepaid Plus Cashback card – the contactless plastic with added ‘fantastic’

Whether you shop online or in-store, you’ll get the most from your everyday shopping with the UNISON Prepaid Plus Cashback card. You’ll earn between 2.5% and 6% cashback at over 50 major retailers°. Plus, the cashback is unlimited, so there’s no minimum or maximum spend requirement nor any restriction on how much cashback you can earn.

It’s not a credit or debit card – it’s a prepaid card. It works just like a pay-as-you-go card – you top it up with money and you can only spend what you’ve loaded to your prepaid card, so there’s less chance of getting carried away. It’s a handy budgeting tool.

No credit checks – just a small £2.95 monthly admin fee*.

Unison releases film highlighting impact of long hours on East of England Ambulance staff

Adult Safeguarding at Christmas

Age UK Oxfordshire predicts that up to 11,000 older people in the county are facing spending Christmas alone this year. The debilitating epidemic of loneliness has a devastating impact on older people in Oxfordshire, the charity has warned.

Read the full article in the Oxford Mail here.

If you’re worried about an older person this Christmas, you can contact the Oxfordshire Adult Social Care Team. An assessment can be requested by an individual, a friend, a neighbour or another agency. They may be entitled to care and support services that could help them:

• develop and maintain family or other personal relationships
• access and engage in work, training, education or volunteering
• make use of necessary facilities or services in the local community, including public transport, and recreational facilities or services.

Details of adult social care in Oxfordshire can be found at https://www.oxfordshire.gov.uk/cms/public-site/adult-social-care.

If your concerns are about self-neglect, abuse or neglect by a person or agency with care responsibilities, you should use the online Reporting a concern system via the OSAB.